The Lover's Dictionary
by Sim14
Summary: This is angsty and fluffy and basically Finn/Kurt's relationship.  However it's set out as a dictionary, with alphebatised entries. You have to read the story to piece together everything.  words are from a random word generator


**If You have read this story before you will notice formatting changes and little tweaks, I have literally only just worked out how to use the editing kit on this site and so it is all rather new and shiny. I tend not to write at the top of my stories, most people don't want to know much about me or why I write, it's all terribly boring but this is one of my favourite pieces that i've written. Admittedly that may be because it is one of the very, very few pieces that I actually finished and one of the even smaller minority that were finished and remotely liked by me. So yeah, thank you to the few hundred people who've already read this, it still strikes me down with how amazing the feeling of having people read what I've written is. **

**So I leave you from this ramble with a story of unpleasant realities and the torturous existence that is love, how it can grasp you in the best and worst ways all at the same time.**

**Enjoy**

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><p><em>A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.<br>__**Bible – Ecclesiastes**_

Approval

I remember standing in front of your Dad and asking him.

I went away for a weekend so I could get his approval to marry you.

You spent the weekend fucking James from work.

Argument

I stormed back into the apartment rosy cheeked, tears tracking trails down my cheeks.

I took you into my arms and held you.

I hated you, I loved you.

I hated fighting more than all of it.

Article

The first time I was published you rummaged endlessly in our kitchen drawer to find a magnet.

You couldn't.

So at 1 in the morning you drove to that 24 hour convenience store six blocks away, just so you could have it on display on our refrigerator.

You never let anyone put anything on the refrigerator.

Asking

"We're still okay right?"

"I promise it didn't mean anything, okay?"

"Finn?"

"You still love me don't you?"

As if I could answer any of those.

Assault

I sat in A+E for six hours with you.

Stupid Homophobes.

Ban

I found it hilarious.

You didn't take so kindly to still being banned from Gap after two years.

Brother

"This isn't incest is it?" You looked like I'd just spoken gibberish.

"We're only Step Brothers Finn, not related." I hated when you spoke to me like I was stupid.

Carpet

My favourite place to have sex with you.

Consolation

"I promise it didn't mean anything, okay?"

As if that was supposed to be a consolation.

Culminate

And it was a culmination of everything I didn't want to know, the blissful ignorance that had piled upon me. Four words.

"We need to talk."

And I'd lost you.

Defy

-ing gravity

Designing

You fascinated me, the way you designed.

I sat and watched you for hours drawing reams of outfits.

Feathers and glitter.

Sleek and styled.

Each with a piece of you slipped within the pencil strokes.

Ease

The most momentous day for me?

The day you took a dump with the bathroom door open.

Ending

Happy endings don't exist in real life.

Endings are painful.

Fate

I've always had a habit on blaming things that hurt too much on fate.

This time it was all you, no fate. Just your own stupid fault.

Fault

"It's not your fault." You whispered as I packed away my things.

"I never for a second thought it was."

Fluid

Fluid i.e. my sexuality

Frightening

"Kurt?" I'd mumbled as the crack of lightening tore through the sky.

"Yeah." You moaned, your eyes flickering open.

"This is probably the time to tell you I have a phobia of thunder storms."

Hold

How was I supposed to know that you held the key to my everything?

Image

I still have that image.

That picture of you.

From a time where it was just you and me.

Love

N/A

Lyric

_Don't forget me, I beg,  
>I remember you said,<br>"Sometimes it lasts in love,  
>But sometimes it hurts instead,"<em>

Moment

You were sprawled on the sofa dressed in boxers and my Ohio state hoodie, which was not so elegantly drowning you. You were cursing and gesturing obscenely at the TV, screaming how he did not deserve that award and Finn, have you _seen_ the state of that tuxedo.

That was the moment I realised you were the one.

One

We'd been regarded as one for at least 4 of the 5 years we'd been together.

It was a subtle adjustment that culminated in the changing meaning of 'you'.

Suddenly 'Do you want to come out?' Wasn't just singular, it encompassed us both.

Organisation

"We'll go out on Saturday at 6pm and then I can probably come over on Monday night as well… Finn, are you listening?" And I just smiled because it was adorable, how organised you were.

I didn't care, as long as I could see you some time.

Real

Happy endings don't exist in real life.

Revelation

"Did you cheat?"

"Yes."

"Who was it?"

"James from work."

Revising

I had my final English exams the day after your birthday.

So you sat with me and quizzed me, a bowl of popcorn and leftover birthday cake between us.

I got an A.

Thank you.

Series

I had even bought you the new grey's anatomy box set to make up for leaving you for a weekend.

Slash

You still don't know I found the Slash Fanfiction you wrote, personally, I thought it was quite good.

Soundtrack

I found the wicked soundtrack in my car as I drove away.

I've never cried so hard in my life.

Spiritual

"How can you be sure there's nothing?" I had asked as we lay in the dark.

"There just isn't Finn, okay."

I wondered how anyone could get through life believing in nothing.

Superior

You'd always told me we were equal, that we would do things together.

Somehow, you always came across as my superior.

Take

James took everything.

_You_ took everything.

Talented

You.

Two

That day, as your body crumbled into the sofa, I felt us become two again.

Wit

Had no definition in my mind until I met you.

Wrecker

FUCKING HOME WRECKER

Yes

Yes, I still love you.

Yes, I think I always will.

Yes, I'll give you a second chance.

No, things will never quite be the same…


End file.
